Saturday, 9 April 2011

Darts and Sex

For the record, written after a few comments on Twitter put the idea into my head. I sort of promised to write about a certain darts player being sexy, so here it is:

Darts is just not sexy, that’s a fact
Even though occasionally,
underdressed women
put in an appearance.
But really, for the ladies,
nothing to excite or give
a frisson of delight
my mum used to fancy 
John Lowe.

I do remember also ‘the Adonis’
not quite my cup of tea
Really didn’t float my boat
with or without the Mullet.
Phil Taylor now, he’s cuddly
like a big daft uncle,
But I’m thinking of raw sex
and although he has the Power
he just doesn’t fit the bill.

Now here’s a Man.
No baggy darting top or beer belly
in sight
Just a tight (enough)
neat buttoned shirt
With just enough chest on show
to be suggestive of the rest
and tucked into his trousers,
so we get a really good idea
of what he’s got
below that belt,
Especially when he wriggles it in victory.

He’s sexy when he’s serious 
but then he smiles
and that curving mouth beguiles,
The stubble on his strong jaw
hints at
‘Just got out of bed’
and his nickname, ‘The Machine’
Well, what else could that mean?
Wow, I think I really ought to have
a shower, now
to cool me down
before the darting starts
and then my evening’s made
by the quite unlikely
Sex God
that is
James Wade.

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